from Parley Grove

Speeding Ticket

NonaRene Nelford has been having just too much fun driving around in her spiffy new 2004 blue Ford Taurus LX.  The truth is she tends to drive a little fast. In fact, last week, while she was driving alone to visit her cousin in Koosharem she was pulled over for speeding.

        NonaRene:   Is there a problem, Officer?

        Highway Patrol Trooper:   Ma'am, you were speeding.

        NonaRene:   Oh, I see.

        Trooper:   Can I see your license, please?

        NonaRene:  I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

        Highway Patrol Officer:   Don't have one?

        NonaRene:   Lost it, four years ago for drunk driving.

        Trooper:   I see.   Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

        NonaRene:   I can't do that.

        Trooper:   Why not?

        NonaRene:   I stole this car.

        Trooper:   Stole it?

        NonaRene:   Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

       Trooper:   You what?

      NonaRene:   His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

        The Trooper looked at her and slowly backed away to his cruiser and called for back up.  Within a few minutes two other patrol cars arrived.  A senior officer slowly approached the Ford Taurus as he clasped his half-drawn gun.

        Patrol Captain:   Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

 NonaRene steppped out of the Taurus.

           NonaRene:   Is there a problem sir?

Captain:   One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. 

          NonaRene:   Murdered the owner?

 Captain:   Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?

 Captain:   Is this your car, ma'am?

 NonaRene:   Yes, here are the registration papers.

 The first trooper was stunned.

  Captain:   One of my officers here claims that you don’t have a driver’s license.

 NonaRene dug into her purse and pulled out her wallet with her license and handed it to the captain.   He examined the license and then scratched his head.

         Captain:   Thank you ma'am.  One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

NonaRene:   Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

MORE Jokes From Parley Grove